Friday, November 10, 2017

Life Lesson: Rules of the Road

I write this having driven into Stanford at Rush Hour. I've nearly been a part of about 15 collisions, and I've seen more near-misses than I care to count.

Part I: Why does this happen and how can I avoid it?

This happens because the world is full of idiots who don't follow the rules of the road. Stop means Stop; Use a Crosswalk when one is available; Drive on the Right. These are basic rules you're expected to follow; they are also laws. When these laws are broken, accidents happen.

For example, if you hop out of the bushes and into the road on your shiny BMX roadbike, you're going to get run over. While your rich Daddy's high-powered lawyers can and will sue me back to the stone age, you're going to end up paralyzed at best.

Likewise, if you don't wait your turn at the intersection, the ideal scenario for you is one where I give you the bird. The worst-case scenario is you t-boning me and having blood on your hands. Sure, your lawyers will clear you of all wrongdoing, but you will still have killed a man.
The best way to avoid this is to follow the law. It's that simple.

NB: I refer to rich parents because these are behaviors exemplified by Stanford students, most of whom are spoiled vieux-riches.

Part II: Supplemental Rules of the Road.

These are more as comic relief, but do keep them in mind.
1. If you have to play music with the windows down, keep it non-vulgar. Something about the n-word makes me itch for a lynching, and you're the lynchee. (This applies regardless of your race).
2. If you're crossing the street while using your phone, I can run you over while using mine.
3. If you're high, I don't need to know. If I know, the cops know.
4. What a man does in his castle is nobody's business but your own. The road is not your castle; please do not do your business on the highway.
5. If you talk smack about me, do it in English so I can respond.
6. Maybe don't jam out to the Soviet National Anthem.
6a. Don't sing to it, for god's sake.
7. If you're going to use the red light as a coffee time, be ready to put the cup away before the lights change.
8. If you have a baby in your car, the windows stay up. Period.
9. If you jam out to "Drive my Car", and you have a nice car, be prepared for the cops to actually drive your car.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Guest Guide: Ireland 1918 in BJ's mod.

Editor's note #1: This is a guest-guide, sourced from a pal of mine on Nationstates. He posted it here, and expressly allowed me to re-publish it.
Editor's note #2: This guide is for an EW4 mod called BJ's mod, which depicts the WWI era. It is warmly recommended by myself.
Editor's note #3: The name "Editor's note" is kind of a misnomer. I did not edit this at all. I just added these notes. Without further ado, here it is.

BJ's WWI Mod: Ireland 1918

If you've ever tried to play Ireland, you probably got rekt in the first 10 turns and quit. It's possibly the hardest conquest in the game, but don't fear; I got past it eventually, and you will too.
Things to Have:
2 cavalry generals (I used Bohm and Umberto)
2 plane generals (I used Richthofen and Fonck)
1 artillery general (I used Totenkopf)
1 infantry general (I used Defense)
Several healing items
Attack and defense items for all generals (probably optional, but they help greatly)
Here's the situation on Turn 1:
As you can see, this is not a good place to be. With only 17 gold and a little industry per turn, Britain will come over and wreck you, and there will be nothing you can do to stop it. Attacking Britian first won't work; you'll only bring your doom about faster. So what can we do? We'll run away. Place Bohm on the single light cavalry, and move him, the sub, and Mulcahy's infantry to the southwest of Ireland to avoid the plane in Elgin. (You can try to take Valera with you as well, but he always gets killed by the plane before I leave Ireland, so my plans from here on out will not include him.)
Wait 5 turns to get 80 gold, and build transports to get Bohm and Mulcahy in the ocean. Next, send them to Gallica (northwest Spain), using the sub as an escort in case any enemy ships come after you.
When your 3 units arrive at Spain, destroy the coastal fortress and take the factory and small town nearby, then go south to Porto. As soon as Porto is yours, start upgrading your cities, factories, and stables every turn you can; a weak economy will kill you. After destroying the Portuguese fort nearby, go take Lisbon. Try not to make more units until Lisbon is taken unless you really have to. Your 2 general units will likely be halfway to death by now, so don't be stingy with the healing items; having your generals die in this stage will also kill you. After Lisbon falls, finish Portugal off and start making your way east through Spain. (You don't necessarily have to follow the routes I have below, but they worked for me.)
By now, you should be able to make 1 or 2 single infantries per turn without a problem. Don't stop upgrading your economy, but start pumping out as many infantries as you can to swarm the objectives in Spain. You'll want to have all your other generals assigned and active before Spain is defeated, with the possible exception of Umberto. Assign Richthofen and Fonck to 2 bombers, build a siege artillery and assign Totenkopf to it, give Defense a triple infantry, and when your economy is sufficiently developed, most likely when Spain is defeated, build a tank and put Umberto on it. France may give you a little trouble at this point, but Guillaumat will be your only main issue from France at this point. Again, if a general has less than half of his health, give him a healing item. By the time you defeat Spain, if you built your economy enough and followed all the steps, you should be making several hundred gold per turn. Continue to swarm infantry from the front lines and upgrade your facilities, and start making planes; they will be crucial for a quick and relatively easy game.
You'll have to spread your troops all over the map leaving from Iberia. Send Totenkopf and some infantries down to French Algeria and make your way to Tunisia, then split your forces to take Sardinia and Sicily, landing in Southern Italy afterwards, then send Totenkopf and a few troops south to finish off Cadorna and start crossing the ocean to the rest of Tripolitania and Egypt. Send Defense and a bomber to Marseille, then make your way across northern Italy and Switzerland, then splitting to take Austria and Yugoslvia and south Germany (if needed). The majority of your forces are to advance northeast through France to Paris. After Paris falls, send Bohm and plenty of infantry units north to take Great Britain and liberate the homeland, with plenty of air cover to assist. The rest of your forces are to advance through the rest of Europe. You should have already spammed enough planes and infantry to make it easy to progress.
After GB and Ireland fall, you can send Bohm back go the continent if you want, but keep the rest of the troops on the isle; they would be too late to help out with the continental effort. After Italy and Germany fall, keep moving your horde of planes and infantries east to Russia and Turkey, sending units to Scandinavia and the Balkans as needed; you can decide how exactly to accomplish this, as you will have more than enough units at your disposal. Totenkopf should have arrived at eastern Tripolitania by now, so start working your way into Egypt. If you work quickly and don't screw anything up beyond repair, you can finish in under 100 turns (I finished in 96).

Friday, November 3, 2017

Modding Lesson #1: General Skills

I'm not going to spoon-feed y'all (unless someone wants to be spoon-fed, in which case comment and you will get a spoon-feeding on Monday). I'm going to give quick lessons and let you out to explore and mod.

1.Today's Lesson:
How to change General's skills
2. Needed:
An unlocked APK. I'm not going to publish it directly, but BJ Blazkovic (youtuber) has one.
An APK editor. The one I use is crap, so I'm hoping youse can go out and find a less poopy one.
3. How to do it:
In the assets folder, there's a file called "def_commander.xml". In it is a list of Generals, with all their specs coded. Today, I'll focus on their skillz. There will be coded under skill1, skill2, skill3, and skill4. The number after them will go from 0 to 39 for actual skills, or be -1 if there is none. The list of codes is below.
To change the skills, edit this doc by replacing the 1-2 digit codes you wanna change. Then, sign the APK, install the new modded version, and have fun!



Infantry Tactic=13
Mass Fire=15

War Expert=20
War Master=21
Economic Expert=23
Economic Master=24

Siege Master=29
Assault Art=31
Defense Art=32

Infantry Trainer=33
Cavalry Trainer=34
Artillery Trainer=35
Navy Trainer=36
Fort Trainer=37
Business Trainer=38
Move Trainer=39